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Jul. 27th, 2005 12:02 pmi can only guess that this was on the radio as a message from the powers that be: DO NOT SEND YOUR CHILDREN TO PUBLIC SCHOOL.
radio guy: so you work for an investment firm, right?
woman (in horrific boston accent): yeah... and really, i'm not this stupid in real life or anything!
rg: so, then, what did you do? tell us.
w: well, my sister got married, right? and she told me she was going on a cruise to alaska for her honeymoon... and when she got back i asked her how miami was.
rg: miami? but she went to alaska for her honeymoon, so why would you ask her about miami?
w: well, you know, people go on cruises and they fly out of miami, right?
rg: but you wouldn't fly to miami if you're going to alaska.
w: well, that's the thing, right? so you know how on maps of the US they show alaska and hawaii off to the side, right?
rg: yes, but that's just on maps of the continental US.
w: yeah but that's what i remember... i think of a map of the US and hawaii and alaska, they're right there over on the side, right next to each other.
rg: you've got to be kidding me.
w: no! i mean, i always wondered why alaska was so cold and hawaii was so hot. i didn't understand how that could happen if they were right next to each other!
rg: have you ever seen a globe? or a world map? or a map of just north america, even?
w: i don't know... maybe?
rg: so let me get this straight, you thought hawaii and alaska were next to each other... but why miami? how did you conclude that they should fly to miami?
w: people who go on cruises fly out of miami.
rg: not if they're going to alaska!
w: well, i thought they'd just... you know... cut through.
rg: cut through? huh?
w: you know how like... there's florida, and then new orleans, and then texas?
rg: you mean the gulf of mexico?
w: is that what it's called?
rg: you don't know what the gulf of mexico is?
w: well, i sorta figured they'd just go under texas and they'd be over by hawaii and alaska.
rg: how did you figure that???
w: um, i just thought they'd, you know, go under texas.
rg: but mexico is under texas. there's no way of getting from the gulf of mexico to the pacific through mexico!
w: i don't know... i just thought they'd just cut over somehow. maybe go underneath somewhere.
rg: well, they could go through the panama canal, or they could go all the way down to the tip of south america, but...
w: yeah! that's what i thought they would do.
rg:...that would be a very long trip to alaska. either way, that's just a very long trip to alaska.
w: well, i don't know!
rg: alaska is up by canada. way north.
w: now you tell me!!! (laughs)
holy shit. just... amazing.
radio guy: so you work for an investment firm, right?
woman (in horrific boston accent): yeah... and really, i'm not this stupid in real life or anything!
rg: so, then, what did you do? tell us.
w: well, my sister got married, right? and she told me she was going on a cruise to alaska for her honeymoon... and when she got back i asked her how miami was.
rg: miami? but she went to alaska for her honeymoon, so why would you ask her about miami?
w: well, you know, people go on cruises and they fly out of miami, right?
rg: but you wouldn't fly to miami if you're going to alaska.
w: well, that's the thing, right? so you know how on maps of the US they show alaska and hawaii off to the side, right?
rg: yes, but that's just on maps of the continental US.
w: yeah but that's what i remember... i think of a map of the US and hawaii and alaska, they're right there over on the side, right next to each other.
rg: you've got to be kidding me.
w: no! i mean, i always wondered why alaska was so cold and hawaii was so hot. i didn't understand how that could happen if they were right next to each other!
rg: have you ever seen a globe? or a world map? or a map of just north america, even?
w: i don't know... maybe?
rg: so let me get this straight, you thought hawaii and alaska were next to each other... but why miami? how did you conclude that they should fly to miami?
w: people who go on cruises fly out of miami.
rg: not if they're going to alaska!
w: well, i thought they'd just... you know... cut through.
rg: cut through? huh?
w: you know how like... there's florida, and then new orleans, and then texas?
rg: you mean the gulf of mexico?
w: is that what it's called?
rg: you don't know what the gulf of mexico is?
w: well, i sorta figured they'd just go under texas and they'd be over by hawaii and alaska.
rg: how did you figure that???
w: um, i just thought they'd, you know, go under texas.
rg: but mexico is under texas. there's no way of getting from the gulf of mexico to the pacific through mexico!
w: i don't know... i just thought they'd just cut over somehow. maybe go underneath somewhere.
rg: well, they could go through the panama canal, or they could go all the way down to the tip of south america, but...
w: yeah! that's what i thought they would do.
rg:...that would be a very long trip to alaska. either way, that's just a very long trip to alaska.
w: well, i don't know!
rg: alaska is up by canada. way north.
w: now you tell me!!! (laughs)
holy shit. just... amazing.
